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February 27, 2021
#4 The Word That Should Be Taught In School: Empathy
Hey, this is Zach.
It kind of blows my mind that I never learned the word “Empathy” until after I was out of school. There are a lot of things that I can’t believe are not taught at school, but this one in particular seems so simple and so important. In the past 10 years since I finished school, I had hoped that they would have somehow started teaching people about the word “Empathy”, but it seems there is even less empathy nowadays both in and outside school.
Having worked with youth, I’ve heard personal stories about the young people in high school who I know and the stories are really terrible. Stories about being bullied both physically and mentally. Stories about getting their face smashed. It was just a couple years ago we heard news stories about a gang of youth called the “Goon Squad” in Nanaimo going around assaulting other kids with weapons.
This was unheard of when I was in school. Seriously, where did we go wrong?
This is happening despite the fact that in the past 10 years we’ve started having events like “Pink Shirt Day”, which was just this week, and other days and weeks throughout the year raising awareness about bullying and harassment. Despite this, bullying is not going away. It seems more like it’s getting worse.
I’m sorry to those who signed up hoping that this newsletter would be all about positivity. I always try to focus on being positive, but this really unsettles me. What kind of world are we fostering for the next generation? What can we do to make the world a friendlier place?
I think everyone wearing a pink shirt once a year is clearly not the answer. So what is the answer? What are we missing?
Maybe we need more consequences for people who are bullies so that they learn that their actions won’t be tolerated. I know some people would advocate this kind of policy making. I’m not so sure though. Like I said, I try to focus on positivity. I don’t believe you can fight negativity with a different kind of negativity. That just creates more negativity. Or as Martin Luther King Jr said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Most likely those who are hurting other people are doing so because of some wound that they have inside themselves. We need more healing, and less fighting. We need more Empathy, and less of Empathy’s evil twin in the world. That evil twin is Apathy.
Is it too simple of me to think that “Empathy” is the answer? Is it naive to believe that if everyone had a basic understanding of what Empathy is, that we would have more of it in the world?
Just incase someone like me went years of their life without having ever heard the word “Empathy” let me lay it out. The definition of empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” That’s it. And when you understand and share the feelings of others, you’re more likely to treat them how you personally would want to be treated as a person. It’s not complicated.
The golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Or “Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
Or “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour.”
Pretty much in every scripture there is some form of the same principle. When did we stop teaching this?
Now some people can be naturally empathic and kind without ever having heard the word “Empathy”. That’s because empathy is hardwired into our brains. Through Neuroscience, we’ve learned that humans have cells in our brains called “mirror neurons” which seem to be the source of empathy. And yet despite this cellular source of empathy, not everyone is empathetic. There’s more to it that needs to be discovered. There’s a lot to learn about mirror neurons so I really recommend you do your own research about them. They’re really fascinating. They also help us learn! There’s the phrase “monkey see monkey do.” Well that’s because of mirror neurons.
Now I’m no neuroscientist or expert on mirror neurons. That’s why I encourage you to research it on your own if you’re curious. I first learned about mirror neurons because I attended a child development workshop taught by a neuroscientist that my mom organized. But I do believe that there are important implications here.
Although there is a hardwired part of empathy, we also learn from seeing other people do. So the more we see people act empathically, the more we will start being empathic. But the more we see people act apathetically, the more we will start being apathetic. Remember, monkey see monkey do. So simply by acting empathically we have the potential to inspire people to have more Empathy!
How else can we make it so more people practice this ability called Empathy?
Well for starters, it shouldn’t be so hard to teach the youth in school about empathy. I don’t think they’re teaching kids about mirror neurons in school science classes yet although they’ve been known about since the 1990s. Also, one of the greatest teachers of empathy is books. A part of empathy is the ability to imagine what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes. When you read a book that allows you into the mind of a character, it nurtures one’s ability to understand and share other people’s feelings by stepping into the shoes of the character. Along with reading books, English teachers could be helping students focus their empathy when they study stories.
Maybe empathy isn’t the complete answer to bullying and harassment though. The other thing that I would add to school is the lessons from the book “The Anatomy of Peace” which I talked about last week. Really I think “The Anatomy of Peace” should be essential reading in school. If we foster peace along with empathy, maybe then our youth will have a better world to look forward to.
Many years before scientists discovered mirror neurons, the man of peace Mahatma Gandhi said this: "We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
As powerful as mirror neurons are, sometimes we can’t wait for others to show us how to do things. We do have the power to teach ourselves. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Stay positive!
-Zach
Hey, this is Zach.
It kind of blows my mind that I never learned the word “Empathy” until after I was out of school. There are a lot of things that I can’t believe are not taught at school, but this one in particular seems so simple and so important. In the past 10 years since I finished school, I had hoped that they would have somehow started teaching people about the word “Empathy”, but it seems there is even less empathy nowadays both in and outside school.
Having worked with youth, I’ve heard personal stories about the young people in high school who I know and the stories are really terrible. Stories about being bullied both physically and mentally. Stories about getting their face smashed. It was just a couple years ago we heard news stories about a gang of youth called the “Goon Squad” in Nanaimo going around assaulting other kids with weapons.
This was unheard of when I was in school. Seriously, where did we go wrong?
This is happening despite the fact that in the past 10 years we’ve started having events like “Pink Shirt Day”, which was just this week, and other days and weeks throughout the year raising awareness about bullying and harassment. Despite this, bullying is not going away. It seems more like it’s getting worse.
I’m sorry to those who signed up hoping that this newsletter would be all about positivity. I always try to focus on being positive, but this really unsettles me. What kind of world are we fostering for the next generation? What can we do to make the world a friendlier place?
I think everyone wearing a pink shirt once a year is clearly not the answer. So what is the answer? What are we missing?
Maybe we need more consequences for people who are bullies so that they learn that their actions won’t be tolerated. I know some people would advocate this kind of policy making. I’m not so sure though. Like I said, I try to focus on positivity. I don’t believe you can fight negativity with a different kind of negativity. That just creates more negativity. Or as Martin Luther King Jr said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Most likely those who are hurting other people are doing so because of some wound that they have inside themselves. We need more healing, and less fighting. We need more Empathy, and less of Empathy’s evil twin in the world. That evil twin is Apathy.
Is it too simple of me to think that “Empathy” is the answer? Is it naive to believe that if everyone had a basic understanding of what Empathy is, that we would have more of it in the world?
Just incase someone like me went years of their life without having ever heard the word “Empathy” let me lay it out. The definition of empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” That’s it. And when you understand and share the feelings of others, you’re more likely to treat them how you personally would want to be treated as a person. It’s not complicated.
The golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Or “Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
Or “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour.”
Pretty much in every scripture there is some form of the same principle. When did we stop teaching this?
Now some people can be naturally empathic and kind without ever having heard the word “Empathy”. That’s because empathy is hardwired into our brains. Through Neuroscience, we’ve learned that humans have cells in our brains called “mirror neurons” which seem to be the source of empathy. And yet despite this cellular source of empathy, not everyone is empathetic. There’s more to it that needs to be discovered. There’s a lot to learn about mirror neurons so I really recommend you do your own research about them. They’re really fascinating. They also help us learn! There’s the phrase “monkey see monkey do.” Well that’s because of mirror neurons.
Now I’m no neuroscientist or expert on mirror neurons. That’s why I encourage you to research it on your own if you’re curious. I first learned about mirror neurons because I attended a child development workshop taught by a neuroscientist that my mom organized. But I do believe that there are important implications here.
Although there is a hardwired part of empathy, we also learn from seeing other people do. So the more we see people act empathically, the more we will start being empathic. But the more we see people act apathetically, the more we will start being apathetic. Remember, monkey see monkey do. So simply by acting empathically we have the potential to inspire people to have more Empathy!
How else can we make it so more people practice this ability called Empathy?
Well for starters, it shouldn’t be so hard to teach the youth in school about empathy. I don’t think they’re teaching kids about mirror neurons in school science classes yet although they’ve been known about since the 1990s. Also, one of the greatest teachers of empathy is books. A part of empathy is the ability to imagine what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes. When you read a book that allows you into the mind of a character, it nurtures one’s ability to understand and share other people’s feelings by stepping into the shoes of the character. Along with reading books, English teachers could be helping students focus their empathy when they study stories.
Maybe empathy isn’t the complete answer to bullying and harassment though. The other thing that I would add to school is the lessons from the book “The Anatomy of Peace” which I talked about last week. Really I think “The Anatomy of Peace” should be essential reading in school. If we foster peace along with empathy, maybe then our youth will have a better world to look forward to.
Many years before scientists discovered mirror neurons, the man of peace Mahatma Gandhi said this: "We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
As powerful as mirror neurons are, sometimes we can’t wait for others to show us how to do things. We do have the power to teach ourselves. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Stay positive!
-Zach
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